Introduction

A group of researchers spent 20 years looking at what key traits allowed neurodivergent learners of all ages to overcome learning differences and thrive in school and adult life. They found that these six success attributes were the clear winners: self-awareness, proactivity, perseverance, goal setting, effective support systems, and emotional coping strategies. 

This study demonstrated that when these attributes become ingrained, learning differences such as dyslexia are no longer the barriers they once were. And you, as a parent or caregiver or educator, can foster these essential strengths everyday, demonstrating the behaviors, explaining their value, and encouraging young people to mirror them until they become second nature. 

According to the work of the Frostig Center, “These characteristics were more powerful predictors of success than numerous other variables, including IQ, academic achievement, life stressors, age, gender, socioeconomic status, and ethnicity.”

As is often the case in the world of literacy remediation, this work would also be a great benefit to the children in your life who have no problem reading. (How many people do you know who wouldn’t benefit from self-awareness, perseverance, emotional coping strategies…) 

Let’s take a closer look at each attribute: 

Self-awareness

Dyslexic students must begin by knowing they have dyslexia and understanding what that means (and doesn’t mean). Awareness of where they excel and where they struggle will enable them to flourish in spite of dyslexia. We all benefit from knowing our natural gifts and what we need help with. 

It’s important to emphasize that though this learning difference is a part of them, it does not define them. What’s true of dyslexic brains is true of all brains: some tasks come easily and some don’t. 

Model for your child what it looks like to recognize and embrace your talents as well as your limitations. Importantly, self-awareness also keeps you conscious of what you’re not. A dyslexic student is not unintelligent, is not lazy, is not broken. This awareness will guard against the careless remarks of unkind peers or the poison of critical self talk. 

Teach young people to use positive self affirmations to internalize what’s true about themselves: I’m smart, I’m confident, I’m capable. Self affirmation may feel silly at first, but it works: we’re using the voice of self love to combat the voice of self criticism. 

Proactivity

The researchers found that high-achieving dyslexic individuals are also actively working toward the life they want. They recognize that they are not stuck where they are, and in order to excel and move toward their desires, they need to build their own momentum, trying, making mistakes, succeeding, making more mistakes, trying again. Proactive people are driven to work toward what they want, making decisions and taking responsibility. They understand that passivity leads to discontentment. Our actions determine the shape of our lives. They’re willing to take risks, be uncomfortable, and fail. (A comfortable, risk-averse person who never fails probably isn’t living the life she longs for.)

“Successful individuals with [learning differences] were actively engaged in the world around them…” the researchers wrote. “They believed they had the power to control their own destinies and affect the outcome of their lives. The ability to make decisions and act on those decisions to control their lives was also evident.”

Perseverance

Who among us would ever get anything done without perseverance? In the face of adversity, discouragement, and failure, successful people get up and keep trying. 

But, importantly, sometimes a new approach is called for. If something isn’t working, perseverance doesn’t necessarily mean continuing to do it the same way. The wisest form of perseverance often involves flexibility, approaching the same task from a different angle. This is especially true for people with learning differences. 

A perseverant person sees difficulty as an invitation to learn and grow, and understands the difference between failing and being a failure. Setbacks are inevitable, but we can choose how to respond to them. Productive, flourishing people respond to failure with persistence, focus, and fortitude. 

Goal Setting

The Frostig study found that productive individuals used specific, flexible goals to surmount dyslexia’s obstacles. They developed concrete, attainable goals and worked toward them strategically, one doable step at a time. 

Breaking a big achievement down into smaller goals lessens the sense of overwhelm. And we avoid needless frustration and disheartenment by choosing realistic goals that take our strengths and weaknesses into account. 

Model for children how to use visual tools like planners and checklists, and introduce them to the profound satisfaction of crossing items off a to-do list. Completing small, approachable goals one at a time builds confidence, stamina, and momentum.  

Effective Support Systems

The study also shows that if people with learning differences (and without them) have every other success attribute but lack supportive relationships, their quality of life diminishes.

We all need people and we all need help. 

Finding the necessary support begins with the first attribute: self-awareness. When students know themselves and know their struggles, they’re able to determine the help they need. The second step is seeking out that help. (Self-awareness: I don’t need help because I’m unintelligent; I need help because this is really hard.) Children rely on parents to advocate for them, some may also enlist a teacher, a tutor, a therapist, or another family member to help guide them. Adults, however,  must learn to recognize their own needs, advocate for themselves, and accept support when offered. 

Model for your child what it looks like to sustain a healthy support system. Talk about the people in your life who support you, and normalize the act of reaching out for help. There’s probably something your child himself could help you with: I help you; you help me. 

Emotional Coping Strategies

Finally, the study found that adults with learning differences who were living fulfilling lives had the tools they needed to stay emotionally regulated. Dyslexia can involve a lot of stress and exhaustion, small tasks can be harder, and without emotional coping strategies, this prolonged stress can lead to anxiety and depression. Coping strategies allow people to recognize what causes them stress and then respond in a constructive, stabilizing way. 

If reading aloud causes anxiety, an emotional coping strategy might be deep breathing or positive self-talk. If a student is overwhelmed by an essay writing assignment, she might cope by taking a break to draw or process the stress with a friend. Again, we go back to self-awareness: we must be aware of the stressors that will send us spinning and the tools that will ground us and soothe our frantic emotions. 

Teach this to children by demonstrating and vocalizing how you cope with stress, disappointment, fear, anxiety, uncertainty, etc. Going for a walk, listening to calming music, meditating, journaling, making art are all ways to reduce stress. We all cope with emotional distress in different ways. Help the children in your life determine what works for them, and teach them to make coping strategies habitual. 

If your child learns to immediately take deep breaths in the midst of stress, for instance, she’ll be setting herself up for a lifetime of calm, thoughtful responses to negative events. What a gift! 

There are two common threads you may have noticed in each of these six attributes: First, children need to see these skills modeled; the behaviors children witness in the home or the classroom become embodied within them. When they see you persevering, setting goals, and proactively pursuing what you love, those attributes will be so much easier to instill in them. Second, notice that each of these attributes will guide, uplift, encourage, and strengthen everybody. Not just everybody with dyslexia. These tools will benefit everyone with a pulse. But the need is greater for people with learning differences, and for young folks especially, it will take a lot of practice to internalize these attributes. When they do, though, they’ll be reaping the benefits for the rest of their lives. 

If you are interested in free ideas on how to teach these attributes to your own kids or to your students, subscribe to Redwood @ Home. And if you love what these lessons do for you or someone you love, please tell another family or teacher about Redwood @ Home.